Paper Letters to a Wife

A professional genealogist said the other night: “We are becoming a lost generation.” She was speaking of the fact that much of our correspondence is in email form, often deleted. We have much less tangible correspondence, and much less of it is kept in a form that future generations will find it. (Dan, I know you “archive” everything – but will anyone else ever see it unless it is printed out?)

This is a letter from John Jay (President of the Continental Congress, first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, first Minister of Foreign Affairs, Governor of New York) to his wife, Sally. I was amused by what seemed to be a rather intellectual/formal letter to his wife, but underneath the formality, there seems to be great tenderness. I was also impressed that it seems to me that he does not look down upon his wife, but treats her as an equal (there is a slight degree of condescension – but not in the way we usually think of it. It is the gentle condescension of one who sees the little girl in his wife, but respects the woman). I like the way he treats her. The relationship (as it appears in the letter) seems to have equal portions intellectual, emotional, and spiritual things, respect, honesty with gentleness in expressing correction and censure. Maybe I'm a little too romantic about this particular letter -- it is, after all, only one letter, but it sounds like what I hope for in marriage.

“I…with concern observe that certain circumstances make an impression on your mind, which appears to me too strong. I would detail my reasons for thinking so, but am induced by prudential considerations not to be more particular until we meet…I shall not be absent from you an instant longer than necessity may constrain me, being as anxious to be with you as you can be for my return. The hints you give me are perfectly proper, and I shall not be inattentive to them. I hope in the course of a few days to acquaint you with the result of my reflections concerning the subjects of them. Mutual information and mutual consultations lead to good counsels, and proper measures. Difficulties always demand self-possession, and presence of mind, for apprehension unless well-regulated, prevent reason from affording us the succours which she would otherwise offer…”

“By all means…dismiss from your mind all useless apprehensions as well as all vain hopes. Let us calmly do our duty, and refer events to Providence. They who expect a gentle course of tranquility and happiness in this world, do not know the world. They expect what they will never find. Our business here is to do our duty, to be grateful for benefits, to be patient under adversity, to be resigned to the will of heaven and to console and comfort ourselves with the prospect of being placed after a few more years in a situation from which every kind of evil is excluded. Let us forever be mindful that God governs the world, that all events are under His control, and that nothing comes to pass but by His permission or appointment. These are unquestionable truths and facts, and not philosophical reveries. Be composed therefore. Take the air, take exercise, be cheerful, strengthen your nerves, and be prepared for whatever may occur…”

The Great Divorce

by C.S. Lewis

"'Do you really think people are penalized for their honest opinions? Even assuming, for the sake of argument, that those opinions were mistaken.'

'Do you really think there are no sins of intellect?'

'There are indeed[...]there is[...]prejudice, and intellectual dishonesty, and timidity, and stagnation. But honest opinions fearlessly followed -- they are not sins.'

'I know we used to talk that way. I did too until the end of my life[...]I know now. Let us be frank[...]When, in our whole lives, did we honestly face, in solitude, the one question on which it all turned: whether after all the Supernatural might not in fact occur? When did we put up one moment's real resistance to the loss of our faith?[...]We didn't want [it] to be true. We were afraid of crude Salvationism, afraid of a breach with the spirit of the age, afraid of ridicule, afraid (above all) of real spiritual fears and hopes.'

'[...]it's not a question of how the opinions are formed. The point is that they were my honest opinions, sincerely expressed.'

'Of course. Having allowed oneself to drift, unresisting, unpraying, accepting every half-conscious solicitation from our desires, we reached a point where we no longer believed the Faith. Just in the same way, a jealous man, drifting and unresisting, reaches a point at which he believes lies about his best friend[...]The beliefs are sincere[...]but errors which are sincere in that sense are not innocent.'[...]

'Well, this is extremely interesting[...]it's a point of view. Certainly, it's a point of view. In the meantime...'

'There is no meantime...All that is over. We are not playing now[...]You have seen Hell: you are in sight of Heaven. Will you, even now, repent and believe?'

'I'm not sure that I've got the exact point you are trying to make,' said the Ghost.

'I am not trying to make any point,' said the Spirit. 'I am telling you to repent and believe.'

'But...I believe already. We may not be perfectly agreed, but you have completely misjudged me if you do not realize that my religion is very real and a very precious thing to me.'

Very well,' said the other, as if changing his plan. 'Will you believe in me?'

'In what sense?'

'Will you come with me to the mountains? It will hurt at first, until your feet are hardened; reality is harsh to the feet of shadows. But will you come?'

'Well, that is a plan. I am perfectly ready to consider it. Of course I should require some assurances...I should want a guarantee that you are taking me to a place where I shall find a wider sphere of usefulness -- and scope for the talents that God has given me -- and an atmosphere of free inquiry[...]'

'No,' said the other. 'I can promise you none of these things. No sphere of usefulness: you are not needed there at all. No scope for your talents: only forgiveness for having perverted them. No atmosphere of inquiry, for I will bring you to the land not of questions but of answers, and you shall see the face of God[...]

Once you were a child. Once you knew what inquiry was for. There was a time when you asked questions because you wanted answers, and were glad when you had found them. Become that child again[...]"