Thursday, April 06, 2006

Paper Letters to a Wife

A professional genealogist said the other night: “We are becoming a lost generation.” She was speaking of the fact that much of our correspondence is in email form, often deleted. We have much less tangible correspondence, and much less of it is kept in a form that future generations will find it. (Dan, I know you “archive” everything – but will anyone else ever see it unless it is printed out?)

This is a letter from John Jay (President of the Continental Congress, first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, first Minister of Foreign Affairs, Governor of New York) to his wife, Sally. I was amused by what seemed to be a rather intellectual/formal letter to his wife, but underneath the formality, there seems to be great tenderness. I was also impressed that it seems to me that he does not look down upon his wife, but treats her as an equal (there is a slight degree of condescension – but not in the way we usually think of it. It is the gentle condescension of one who sees the little girl in his wife, but respects the woman). I like the way he treats her. The relationship (as it appears in the letter) seems to have equal portions intellectual, emotional, and spiritual things, respect, honesty with gentleness in expressing correction and censure. Maybe I'm a little too romantic about this particular letter -- it is, after all, only one letter, but it sounds like what I hope for in marriage.

“I…with concern observe that certain circumstances make an impression on your mind, which appears to me too strong. I would detail my reasons for thinking so, but am induced by prudential considerations not to be more particular until we meet…I shall not be absent from you an instant longer than necessity may constrain me, being as anxious to be with you as you can be for my return. The hints you give me are perfectly proper, and I shall not be inattentive to them. I hope in the course of a few days to acquaint you with the result of my reflections concerning the subjects of them. Mutual information and mutual consultations lead to good counsels, and proper measures. Difficulties always demand self-possession, and presence of mind, for apprehension unless well-regulated, prevent reason from affording us the succours which she would otherwise offer…”

“By all means…dismiss from your mind all useless apprehensions as well as all vain hopes. Let us calmly do our duty, and refer events to Providence. They who expect a gentle course of tranquility and happiness in this world, do not know the world. They expect what they will never find. Our business here is to do our duty, to be grateful for benefits, to be patient under adversity, to be resigned to the will of heaven and to console and comfort ourselves with the prospect of being placed after a few more years in a situation from which every kind of evil is excluded. Let us forever be mindful that God governs the world, that all events are under His control, and that nothing comes to pass but by His permission or appointment. These are unquestionable truths and facts, and not philosophical reveries. Be composed therefore. Take the air, take exercise, be cheerful, strengthen your nerves, and be prepared for whatever may occur…”

1 Comments:

Blogger shasta said...

i've been enjoying your blog, marci. sorry i have not been commenting much. i've been working waaaaay too many hours trying to save money, and for once i've managed to burn myself out a bit on the computer. love you.

5/06/2006 2:40 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home